Topic? What Topic?

Well so much for being a “stay at home blogger”.

When you’re young you get asked all the time what you want to be when you grow up.  For me, around the age of 8 that answer could change ten times a week.  Like some kind of career oriented attention deficit disorder.   Fireman! Archeologist! Astronaut! *gasp* I got it! An archeologist who fights fires in space!!!

Clearly this was before I learned that space was a vacuum.  Or at least before I knew what that meant.  You can’t tell an 8 year old that there’s a vacuum in space, because he’ll just imagine his mom sucking up asteroids with a Hoover.  I had a similar problem with microwave towers.

“Dad, what’s on the top of that tower?”
“Well son, that’s a microwave emitter.”

Seemed a bit out of the way for popcorn to me.  And don’t even get me started on the time he told me there was a transformer on the  power line down the street.  See?  Puns literally come naturally to me.  I can’t help it.

Hmm…  This post was supposed to be about my career and looking for hobbies on the side.  I think I like this better.

Happy Friday!

- J

Why I Haven’t Blogged in a Week

Well, first there’s this:

 

which was fun, but then there’s this during the day…

Yep, that’s seven inches of dead trees which comprise the work that has come to me since Monday.

Now, according to a recent statistic I made up, 92% of my blog entries are posted at work in the morning before I get started.  So just for fun (and in the interest of productivity) I’m going to start “home blogging”.

The theory here is that at home my attitude will be different and thus affect my writing.  The other theory is that when I’m not at work and if I’m not out doing other things, I’m probably in my papasan chair watching stand-up and not really inclined to move (much less create coherent sentences).  So making a habit of this may require a slight adjustment in my blogational fortitude. 

Come to think of it, my list of personal adjustments I want to make in life makes that pile of paper up there look like one of the players in the picture above it.  I need to get to the gym more often, I need to bring lunch instead of buying it, I need to put more in savings, I need to keep up with friends, and the list goes on.  It’s an aggravating list and I bet we all have one.  I guess I’m just a basics kind of guy.  Because I’ve got those covered – food, shelter, clothes.  After that, everything else sort of congeals into some kind of adult bachelor meets 6 year old existence.  ”I’ll pass on laundry tonight because there’s a new episode of House.  Or perhaps I could go jogging. Oh wait, I could play Guitar Hero.  Let’s see…  Jogging = running and sweating.  Guitar Hero = standing still and feeling like a rock star.”  Not a tough decision, really.

Anywho, life is what it is and I’m enjoying most of it.  I live in the greatest city in the world, I have amazing friends and family and, overall, God has been entirely too good to me.

Have a good’n,

- J

Batteries Not Included

The first rule of uncling (or aunting) is to never show up empty handed.  In a fit of nostalgia I bought my niece a Pound Puppy.  I was thrilled to find that 1) that they were still around and 2) they weren’t altered in any way (See Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for further explanation).  They even had the old school boxes with the front half of the puppy sticking out.  I picked out the cutest one I could find and scurried back to Texas certain I’d be passing on one of the happy memories of my childhood.  I now reenact for you, The Moment of the Gifting…

J: Look what Uncle J got for you!

T: How do you turn it on?

J: It doesn’t turn on, Sweetie.  It’s a Pound Puppy.  Your daddy and I used to play with these.

T: What does it do?

J: Sorry Taylor, it’s just a stuffed animal.

T: *walks away confused with strange, non-interactive thingy*

Of course I’m not upset.  She’s three.  But somewhere inside me there’s a little old man screaming, “When I was your age, I played with sticks!!!” 

Ahh the digital age.

- J

Tanner Brian

I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome my nephew, Tanner Brian to the world.  Born this morning, January 22nd, weighing in at 7 lbs 6 oz.

Thanks to a wonderful Christmas present from my dad and brother, I’ll be flying back to Texas tomorrow morning to meet him.  All you facebook friends can look forward to lots of pics very soon.

Love you guys!!!

- Uncle J

The Post-Christmas Post

Howdy everyone.  A little holiday recap for you all…

Christmas was great.  I enjoyed some downtime, reasonable weather and a lot of quality time with the family types.

And now, some abstract math:  AirTran + Bad Weather = the movie Cloverfield.  I was supposed to be home at 4:00 Saturday afternoon.  Finally touched down in LGA at 7:00PM Sunday.  Wasn’t all bad though.  Got to spend an extra night with my parents. 

Upon getting back to my apartment, I was a little more than miffed to find the cable and internet on the fritz.  The customer service representative was unable to figure out what the problem was, so they are sending someone out to the apartment.  On FRIDAY.  So I get to spend a few days without internet or cable television.  It’s an inconvenience, but then again this could be a good thing.  Sort of an unintentional fast.  Besides, compared to the problems I could be having, in the grand scheme of things missing House really isn’t the end of the world.

I finished reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown on the way home yesterday.  Really great book.  I hope the movie does it justice.  I’ll start on The Da Vinci  Code pretty soon.

I’m also about 3/4 through the original Watchmen graphic novel.  Interesting is the shortest way I can describe it so far.  Again, I’m looking forward to the movie and hope it lives up to the hype.

This will be my first New Year’s in the city and I’m really excited.  I’ll be welcoming 2009 at a party with some friends (because short of a date with Megan Fox, nothing on earth could get me in Time Square at midnight).  I’ve been told they’ll have some of those little pull-string popper thingys.  That’s pretty much my main reason for going lol.

That’ll do for now.  I hope the holidays have been good to everyone else too.  Have a fun and safe New Year’s Eve.

God Bless!!

Blogging Around the Christmas Tree

Well gang, the holidays are upon us.  Time to dig up the old Christmas albums, bring foliage inside and put the lights on the outside, and of course it’s time to start checking the cable guides for all the 1960’s stop motion animation we can find.  Personally, I’m more a fan of How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the one animated by Chuck Jones and narrated by Boris Karloff).  And maybe we can spread a bit of peace on earth and goodwill toward men if we can find time.  Oops, I mean goodwill toward persons of indiscriminate sex.  Gotta be PC during the holidays you know.

I love the holidays.  I spent about an hour on iTunes Sunday tracking down all the old Christmas songs my family listened to when I was young .  And to be honest, I never really stopped listening to them.  The Hat I Got for Christmas is Too Beeg will always make me laugh.   And if you know who Yogi Yorgesson is, well you’re awesome in my book.  Also this weekend we got our tree and most of the decorating done. 

I’m really looking forward to some time off from work and to be back in Texas with my family for a while.  I miss them all a lot, but that’s easily remedied by my love of holidays here in the city.  There’s really nothing quite like it.  If you can deal with the throngs of crazed tourists, it’s definitely worth the trouble to take a late night stroll down 5th Ave and through Bryant Park.

I hope you’re enjoying the holiday season as much as I am so far.  Like we try to remind ourselves every year, don’t get too wrapped up in presents, schedules and parties.  Take a moment every now and again and remind yourself why you celebrate your holiday of choice (and be thankful that you have the right to do so).  It’s a bit cliche, but the best presents really can’t be bought. 

Now let’s party!!

- J

Back in the Saddle

Please forgive the hiatus in posting, dear readers.  I’ve been on vacation and decided that should include a vacation from the internet as well.  You should try it some time.  When it’s of your own volition and not forced, it’s quite rewarding.

I spent a week or so back in Texas filled with family, friends, fishing, food and fireworks.  An effing good time, you might say*.  It was a much needed break from the havoc of the city, but I was glad to return to “normal” life.  Whatever that is.  Perhaps I’ll expound more on my trip later.

At the moment, I need to share some excitement.  Last night after work I trotted on down to my local GameStop and picked up Guitar Hero: Aerosmith.  Yes, this is a complete copy of Guitar Hero 3 only with Aerosmith characters and songs.  Why people see a problem with this is beyond me.  I am, I admit, totally biased in my opinion.  In case you weren’t aware, Aerosmith is pretty much my favorite band.  Ever.  If you are not an Aerosmith fan, you should seek professional help then this game is not for you and you should just stick to GH3.

That will do for now, I suppose.  Love you guys.

- J(oe Perry rocks)

 

* See what I did there?

Cat’s Can

There are things that you find hilarious when you’re seven that are not so great when you find them again later in life.  This is not one of them.  This is for my brother.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBlsAKXvpd0

A Simple Thank You

One year ago this Sunday I stepped off an airplane in NYC with 3 suitcases, no definite place to live and that odd mixture of terror and excitement that comes from a major life change.  I’m amazed at just how little of that person is still here.

 

Thanks to all my friends and family for their prayers and support this past year.

 

God bless,

 

J

The Little Red Store – part 2

By the time I hit Jr. High, I was getting my own movies from the back and renting them with my own money. Of course in high school there was too much going on to really be interested in rental movies at home with your parents, so it was always just sort of there. I don’t remember exactly when the gas pumps stopped working, but I do remember that it was ridiculously overpriced when they did. Like a whole $1.00 per gallon my sophomore year. Anyway, I didn’t interact with it very often anymore but it was still the setting for more than a few odd/interesting little stories. 

 

A few worth pointing out:

~My parents house is at the top of a blind hill. Most yo-yo’s took this blind hill at somewhere between 70 and 80 mph. Luckily for the subject of this story, he wasn’t. The cows behind our house (not ours) had gotten out one summer afternoon. More than once I have looked out the window to our front yard only to be greeted by a herd of bovine meandering across. That means it’s time to stop what you’re doing, call the neighbors who left their *!@# fence open, put on some boots you don’t mind getting “dirty” and herd them back where they belong. As the family posse got started, one made its way to the road just out of view of that blind hill. This is a bad thing. Sure enough, before we could coerce it back an unlucky fellow topped the hill. I’m not sure how fast he was going, but had he been going any faster we would have all become vegetarians very quickly. Fortunately he saw it in time to get out of the way. Unfortunately, he swerved hard to the right and into our ditch, overcorrected and went back across the road and turned a 180 onto the center of the circle drive at the store.  He, his car and the cow were all unharmed. But for the grace of God go idiots.

 

~There were two rather large oak trees out front of the store. One morning after a really bad thunder and lightning storm we were all amazed to see one split down the middle and laying across their driveway. About 75 yards from our house.

 

And finally… 

It’s a white truck. It will be a black truck and half melted by the time this story ends.

 

He pulled up to B&B to see what the smoke coming from under his hood was. Turns out it was an oil leak which caught fire not too long after he stopped the truck. Before the fire spread too far, this guy at least had enough sense to get in, put it in neutral and push it AWAY from the gas pumps. By now it had attracted plenty of attention from the neighbors and we were all settled in our lawn chairs with our popcorn enjoying the show (you might be a redneck IF?). The store owners were very interested by now and had called the fire department. The fire took off pretty good and when your vehicle is on fire, there’s really not much that can be done but wait. But not our intrepid hero. He went around to the back of the store and reappeared with a water hose. A nice thought, but this was an oil fire. That’s the last thing you do because you’re just going to spread it with a water hose and not put anything out. Picture the flames licking the side of the car from under the front left fender. Now picture a grown man with a water hose bent over at the waist spraying the hose into these flames while looking in. The flames got bigger and he took the hint, stepped back and waited. Eventually the flames died down when the oil burned up and there was nothing but thick black smoke coming off a medium-well S-10 pickup.

 

The good ol’ Whertheheckahwe volunteer fire department showed up about a half hour later.

 

The Little Red Store closed not too long after I graduated high school. The owners passed away a few years apart from one another and it more or less sat there while the bahaya grass consumed it and it became just a background eyesore.  One visit home from college I was shocked to see it cleaned up, the doors where open and it was BLUE!  A family had purchased it and had moved in a mobile home right behind it and are currently using it as storage (I think).  So while it doesn’t look anything like it used to, it’s nice to know that its still standing and being used.Hope you’ve enjoyed a few of my random childhood memories.  

J