Archive for May, 2007

Dear Television,

May 30, 2007

And now, three random letters to the only television shows I watch on a regular basis

Dear House M.D.,
  House is the best show on television right now.  Period.  But you should be warned, if you remove Chase and Cameron from the show there may be violent repercussions.  Foreman?  No big loss.

Your devoted fan,

Dear Family Guy,
  You continue to be innovative, hilarious and push the boundaries of good taste as well as the sanity of every sensor at Fox.  However.  You try too hard to offend people (and it shows) and the fight sequences with Peter and The Chicken are loosing their appeal very quickly.  How many times have they fought now?  27?

Still reasonably amused,

Dear Scrubs,
  Dr. Cox is my hero.  That’s all I can say.

I’m no Superman,

Yet Another Comparison

May 25, 2007

Difference between Longview, TX and New York, NY #1,267

In Texas, the men have deer season.

In New York, the women have Fleet Week.

Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone!!  Love y’all!



May 24, 2007

Rejoice with me Livejournal!!  Another season of American Idol has come and gone.  Now we just have to suffer through the next week of “review and highlight” footage.  After that, we’ll all be able to enjoy a nice break from the pop culture reality fodder being forced down our throats.  *phew*  Until next season of course…

Eye of the Housecat

May 17, 2007

Because I’m not a tiger just yet.

Dear Blogosphere,

As of this morning I weigh 147lbs as naked as God sent me.  I ran 1.75 miles in 20 minutes and I don’t even want to get into details about weight lifting.

To the more stately in stature,  this may sound laughable.  Others may suggest I shut up and quit complaining for weighing in as a featherweight boxer because they wish they could be so lucky.  A ten minute mile might be a dream come true for some, and the worst timed run of the week for other more capable runners.

Well this is me.  This is where I’m starting and this is what I have to work with.  I have learned a few things in the last week or two after beginning a regular work out routine.  I’m starting to see the number one key to any success with this will be the removal of pride.   If I’m going to spend the time and money every month to work out, I need to get the full benefit of it.  If that means swallowing a mouthful of humble pie every time I pick up a 15lb dumbbell to do arm curls instead of a more respectable 30, then so be it.  There’s no point in holding up appearances because nobody should go to the gym to be impressed by anyone but themselves.  My problem is I had hoped I was in better shape than I really am.  No worries.  At this stage in the game, that just provides me a constant goal to work toward.  And as long as I’m never satisfied with my progress (and I am never satisfied with myself), then that only leaves room for improvement.

Maybe this is God’s little way of telling me it’s okay to have limitations.  Every day of my life since Jr. High school I have fought with knee problems.   Most of my friends know this, but for those that don’t – I’ve had two patella (kneecap) realignments. One on each knee.  A pretty intense reconstructive surgery.  It’s not as easy to explain as a torn ACL, but basically  my muscles grew awkwardly and in time pulled my kneecaps out of alignment and began to wear down cartilage.  In the back of my mind I know I’m staring down the barrel of knee replacement in 30 years, but I’ll hobble that bridge when I get there.  I’m not in constant pain or anything, but it does give me problems now and again.  Very key point to figuring out J – I HATE being unable to do something.  Be it the inability to figure out a complex problem at work or the inability to perform with the rest of my cardio class because they can hop on their floor steps on one leg with little effort and I have to stand there like a dunce.  I guess limitations will always either stop you or push you forward and the choice is up to you.

So there it is.  Occasionally I’ll chime in here with progress or struggles regarding this new hobby.  I’m looking forward to some much needed self improvement, both mentally and physically.

Y’all be good,


Home, Health and Happiness

May 16, 2007

My last few literary adventures have been a bit sarcastic.  For that I apologize.  Occasionally the political banter and crazy people up here get on my nerves and rub off on me a bit.  I think it’s time for just a plain ol’ update on my life instead of a rant.

Things on my mind lately:

  • I’m coming home to TX for a visit June 1 – 6 and can’t really express my excitement about that
  • I officially joined a gym this week
  • Everyone in my life has something awesome going on right now

I decided that I missed everyone more than I realized.  I’m not sure what it was.  I think it happened while telling stories about my friends and family to coworkers or perhaps it was the pictures of my niece that I stumbled upon.  Either way, I couldn’t make it till Christmas.  And hopefully I will never have to.  I had decided not to go home this year till Christmas because a little home is coming to me in July when my parents visit.  For those that know my family, you know this is a big deal.  And for the past 2 months I’ve been compiling lists of activities and obsessing about where to go what to do and all the other things you consider when trying to make a good impression.  But the more I thought about it the more I realized that my parents won’t care what we do.  They just want to see me.  And when it comes right down to it, I just want to see them too.  That and the thought of seeing my dad on the subway just makes me smile.  Now if I can just get my grandmother up here…

So I joined Crunch Monday.  I used a guest pass last week to check it out.  I took an aerobics class called “Cardio Sculpt” and my body has yet to forgive me.  But eventually I’ll work up to being able to actually benefit from the self inflicted torture that these classes provide.  The amenities are nice and there are some very friendly people working there.  I’m especially grateful to Ron who gave me my first month free when I told him I needed to wait to join so I could afford my plane ticket home.  Hopefully I’ll be able to update progress on here and make this a part of my weekly routine.  As of now, I’m planning on working out Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  I’m meeting this Saturday with a personal trainer to figure out A) a good work out regiment for my personal goals I want to accomplish and B) how not to destroy my knees in the process.  This is all new to me, so I’m very excited.  Any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated.

Finally, everywhere I look around I’m greeted by the wonderful things happening in my friends lives.  My friends that started at King’s College the same time I did all graduated this past weekend.  My friends at Baylor graduated this past weekend, [info]talk2tomt just got a new job after his big move back home. [info]iremembernot got a new job, and new apartment  Another one of my best friends just got engaged.  One of my friends here in NY (after years of patience) finally got a room to herself and a chance to redecorate her own space.  Another still, despite much opposition, moved out of her parents house to strike it out on her own.  And speaking of moving, my brother and his family just moved into a gorgeous new home in the Hallsville school district where they plan to stay many many years and raise my beautiful niece.  Congratulations to all my friends and family for all their many wonderful accomplishments and promises of accomplishments to come.  I don’t get out of bed every morning so I can come make bills for a law firm.  I get out of bed because God has blessed my life with some amazing people that I love very much.

K I’m having trouble moving from all the Sap.  To sum up: I’m goin’ home, I’m gettin’ buff and I’m just really happy for everyone.

To my Texas peeps, see you soon!!

Y’all be good.


And another thing!

May 2, 2007

I was thinking about removing my last post because I wrote it in a hurry and I felt it was sloppy.  But I think it’s a valid point and it also made [info] iremembernot laugh so now I’m fine with it.   But since I posted it something else has bugged me that I see as ridiculous and therefore have to rant about it a bit.

From the previous news story:
“In its mea culpa, Sony said: “We recognize that the use of a dead goat was in poor taste and fell below the high standards of conduct we set ourselves.”

The company said it has launched an internal inquiry into the circumstances of the event and that it will put measures in place to make sure it does not happen again.”*sigh* Okay, two things


1. Public apologies are such crap.  It makes me laugh so hard anytime somebody important is forced to stand up in front of reporters and “issue an apology”.  Come on.  How many times when your mother made you say you were sorry to your brother/sister did you actually mean it?  Never.  You just wanted to make mom leave you alone.  Same with famous people and media.  Athletes, politicians, big companies, actors and pretty much anyone in the public eye invariably is going to screw up.  And for some reason it makes offended people happy when they force someone to apologize for something they probably aren’t actually sorry for.  

2. Internal inquiry?  Make sure it does not happen again?  I’m sorry what?

“Okay boss, the new Sony product convention is tonight at 8:00.”
“Wonderful.  Wait a sec!  There’s not going to be a dead goat hanging around is there?  I don’t want a repeat of that God of War fiasco.”
“No sir.  Remember?  We hired Joe.”
“Who’s Joe?”
“Joe Smith.  The guy who makes sure there aren’t any dead goats at public functions.”
“Ohhhhh right right.  Sure glad we hired him.”
“One other thing sir, the paint covered strippers are going to be a little late.”
“That’s fine just as long as they get there by 9:00.  Gotta get the ambiance right you know.”

Okay now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, no more ranting about this particular news story.  Thanks for your patience.  And to anyone that I’ve offended with this blog – My publicist told me to tell you that I’m sorry. 


And the aliens said, “On second thought, lets not go to earth.  It is a silly place.”

May 1, 2007

People are ridiculous.,2933,269412,00.html

So Sony used a dead goat as a set piece for their premier of God of War II.  And the animal activists go wild as if it were their own mothers.

It was a goat.  A GOAT, PEOPLE.   How many goats are there in the world?   Like a billion or more?  Well I don’t know, but it’s not like it was a panda cub.  The point is it’s not an endangered animal and it’s a beast of burden.  I can watch footage of a madman waving his guns in celebration of his plan to murder students at a college but God forbid a dead goat be on display somewhere.  Heck I see that in the windows of butchers stores in Queens (a local butcher, by the by, was where they got it).

Also at the event: “The U.K.’s Daily Mail newspaper on Sunday published a story on the party, where female hostesses with breasts covered with nothing but body paint fed grapes to guests. . .”  

Uh huh.  Naked people in public, fine.  A dead animal – wooooah wait a sec.

Good thing there were activists present.  Otherwise none of the men would have seen the goat….