True story. I had my cell phone in my pocket at work one day and the day progressed as normal. When I got into my friends car after work that afternoon to catch a ride home, I pulled out my phone to check my messages and lo and behold, at some point I must have run into something very hard because the display on my cell phone screen was an explosion of bright yellow digital goo. Like a bored 6th grader in math class playing with his graphing calculator and pressing the screen with his finger to make it all shiny. Only this time instead of his finger he used, oh I don’t know – a sledge-o-matic. Thus, my cell phone was blinded.
 
That was July of 2006.
 
Almost one year later, I have tired of not knowing who was calling and being unable to read txt messages. My stubbornness forced into submission, I bit the bullet Saturday and finally got a new phone. 
 
I hate cell phones so much. I’ve had maybe 5 in my life and I’ve never been happy with any of them. My first two were too big and bulky and completely stone age by todays standards. The next had constant battery issues. The two proceeding that both broke; One had a receiver problem (But I have to say, it’s great what you hear your friends say when they think you have been disconnected but you can hear them perfectly). And the next one was decimated by my own hand, er, thigh. I hate the fact that in less than 10 years we have become so tethered to them. Since the days of Zack Morris in the bathroom prank calling Mr. Belding (on his phone the size of foot-long from Subway), we have been unable to function without our direct contact to the rest of the world. And also as a result, I don’t know my own grandmother’s phone number anymore. We all enter them one time, call it and save it. And dear Lord don’t get me started on these trendy children who have shortened every word in the English language to a phonetic smattering of ignorance. Omg, idk how much more I can take.
 
One more little ditty to consider: I had not saved my numbers to my SIM card before my phone face melted like it just opened the Ark of the Covenant.  So I lost all my numbers. And before I had even purchased my phone I was asked, “So, you going to make a facebook group now?” *sigh*
 
Anywho, just a quick rant and brief update. Text away, beloved digital age.
 
Y’all be good,
J
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