My Next Vacation

I’ve never traveled outside the U.S. before and so I’ve been thinking about where I want to take my next vacation.  I think I may have found the perfect spot!  I’ve transcribed some of the brochure here.  Anybody care to come with me??

P.C. Land
 
Climate and Customs
 
As this is a tropical area, you can enjoy the warm sun and beaches most of the year. Be careful in the late summer and early fall however, as this is the beginning of the Personcane* (see footnote below) season which brings constant windy and rainy storms.
 
The people of P.C. Land also anxiously await the cooler months when they celebrate the non religion specific late December holidays and warmly greet one another with a festive (and inoffensive) “Hello”. Each home is allowed one colored light of their choosing to adorn their homes in honor of the holiday season. This is the most sensitive way to deal with holiday decor, as some neighbors may be of differing religious backgrounds and find some more outlandish displays (such as 2 or 3 lights) highly degrading.
 
Cultural Diversity
 
Due to the rigorous and exhausting complications from race and culture, all residents** are simply known as Hued Living Beings. Currently, P.C. Land proudly brags it is inhabited completely by Hued Living Beings (a statistic unmatched by any other country).
 
Romantic Atmosphere
 
Love is in the air in P.C. Land! On any given weekend you can see a Voluntary Legal Union Ceremony going on. VLUC’s (“weddings” are far to religion specific) are a wonderful display of acceptance as men and women, men and men, women and women, men dressed as women and women dressed as men, men/women and assorted farm animals, family members, certain intellectual aquatic animals and the occasional flora are all allowed and encouraged to intermarry and have very confused and ugly children. To show appropriate submission between participants, the last name (if present) is dropped entirely to avoid any misconception about one being superior to the other in any way. In it’s place they assume a mutually accepted identity such as “The Smiths” and that becomes their new name. By law, each individual in the union must have separate banks no less than 50 miles apart from one another and bank accounts are completely confidential and accessible only by retinal scan. Nobody is known to be a “primary” anything in P.C. Land, especially a primary bread-winner.
 
Local Wildlife
 
Thanks to the great efforts of PETA, no animals are detained or disciplined in any way as this hurts their feelings. They are instead allowed complete freedom to roam wherever they wish and occasionally maul those that get too close. Of course in such instances those animals who injure others are treated with the same rights as all Hued Living Beings who commit physical offenses.  They are given a stern talking to by a local celebrity and then sent home without dinner.
 
Tired of feeling like your every need is not being met? Do you often feel like you’re not the center of the universe when you clearly should be?  Then please, give P.C. Land a chance. We promise you the most inoffensive, sickeningly polite and Politically Correct vacation of your life. Come see what it’s like to live P.C.!!
  
  
*After a series of voting, it was decided that “hurricane” sounded far too chauvinistic and gave the impression women were somehow at fault.  A similar ruling applied in the court cases regarding the Spiderperson and Batperson comic book series’.
 
**A “resident” is defined as anyone who crosses into the boundaries of P.C. Land. Upon entering the country a language test is immediately submitted***
 
***to everyone else who is already here. Those who fail are asked to take a very lengthy and expensive 5 semester language course mastering the new language of the newcomer so he/she/it/them/they will not feel uncomfortable at any time while purchasing food.

 

 

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2 Responses to “My Next Vacation”

  1. Return to P.C. Land « The Rambling J Says:

    […] Return to P.C. Land You may recall my first trip to P.C. Land… […]

  2. Blogging Around the Christmas Tree « The Rambling J Says:

    […] men if we can find time.  Oops, I mean goodwill toward persons of indiscriminate sex.  Gotta be PC during the holidays you […]

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