Archive for January, 2008

A Public Service Announcement

January 24, 2008
Things I’d Rather Do Than Watch Cloverfield Again

– Watch a Paulie Shore and Carrot Top movie marathon.
– Eat spinach.  Off a running chainsaw.
– Run a marathon.  Barefoot.  Across a snake pit
– Bathe an angry cougar.
– Have a tooth pulled.  By a gorilla.
– Give up coffee and Dr Pepper forever
– Watch reality television.  The really stupid kind.  Like Big Brother, Survivor and *shudder* American Idol.
– Give

this kitty a hug.
Needless to say, I hated Cloverfield.  Worst movie I’ve seen in a long time (and I’ve seen some horrible movies).  The advertising campaign was amazing.  If they had done the trailer as a home video and the movie as, well, a movie it might have had a chance.  They must have known nobody was going to voluntarily watch a movie that will make them seasick so they tried to play up the suspense.  The entire film is shot like a bad home movie.  A great deal of the “action” is watching people’s feet while they run.  The camera moves non-stop, stalls on something interesting for about 15 seconds, and then begins moving again.  That’s it.  That’s the movie.  Oh yeah, and there’s a big thing eating Manhattan which you get to see for about two minutes total.

Save your money.  But if you do find yourself going to see this Blair Witch/Godzilla combo pack be sure and take Dramamine first.

-J

 

 

Mahwidge.

January 17, 2008
Mahwidge is what bwings us togethah, today.  Mahwidge – that bwessed awangement.  That dweam, wiffin a dweam…

I’m going home this weekend to be a groomsman in the wedding of one of my very closest, long-time friends.  Been a while since I’ve worn a tux.  Oh well, all good things must come to an end lol.  

This would be a great opportunity to reflect on the beauty of weddings, single life or the effect weddings have on friendships.  I could talk at some length about my thoughts concerning what I want for my own wedding (with full understanding of how meaningless they will be when the time comes).  But I don’t wanna talk about that stuff.  So instead…

 

The only thing that could make this a more perfect idea is if Christopher Walken were Vice President with him.

Rambling J Presents: Favorite Commericials

January 8, 2008

While on vacation, I watched a countdown of the Funniest Commercials of 2007.  Number one involved a farting squirrel.  So in lieu of that disapointment, I present MY countdown of Top 5 commercials.  EVER.  Enjoy.

5) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tXEEZE0rqM 

4) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ0NG5cUC1w 

3) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81DT8j7akdc 

2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d0rQnVIOvA

drum roll please….

1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPRscxQZs8E 

Well there you have it.  Hope you found them as funny as I do.  Of course there are thousands to choose from and I just threw this together.  If you have any favorites, please add to the list!

Y’all be good!

J

Irritating Texas Stereotypes 101

January 3, 2008

 

Conversation in an elevator today…
 
Me: Hey there!
Secretary: Hi!  So how was Texas?
Me: Great!
… a few moments of small talk …
Sec: So did you ride while you were home?
Me: Ride?
Sec: Your horse.
Me: Umm no. 
Sec: *shocked* You don’t have a horse?
Me: No ma’am.  I’ve been on a horse maybe twice in my life.  Not the most fun way to get around.  I’d take a car any day.
Sec: *disappointed* Oh.
 
*sigh*

Uncle J Vs. 2008 – Round 1

January 2, 2008

Aaaand here we go.  A new year and 2 months or more of typing the wrong year on any invoices I send out at work.I had a wonderful 2 week vacation filled with family, food and good ol’ down home fun.  My niece is the most amazing thing I have seen in many years and I’m really looking forward to watching her grow up.  It’s hard being away for a lot of the big moments in her life but at the same time it’s a lot of fun coming home and being surprised by what she can do after such a short time.

“Hey J, do you have any resolutions?” you ask.  Hardly.  I learned a long time ago that if you make a promise to yourself to do something and call it a Resolution you usually end up pissed at yourself by February and worse off than when you started.  Yes I have a list of things I hope to do to improve myself and a few little goals in mind – but I promise myself nothing except to try.

Among these, my top priorities are to find a church home (finally), get back to a regular gym schedule and to consistently add more to my savings every month and NOT TOUCH IT.

Speaking of my cash flow…  today I experienced one of the most gratifying feelings I’ve ever had.  I paid off a college loan!!  I’m here to tell you, paying for an education is an education in itself.  All part of that American Dream I guess.  Funny how the American Dream never seems to involve paying interest…

So 2007 I bid you farewell.  Welcome, 2008.  Bring it on.

Happy New Year everyone

J