Archive for May, 2008

Stair Wars

May 29, 2008

As a member of our office’s Safety Team I not only get a snappy neon orange vest, glow sticks, food rations & a dorky bright red hat;  I also get the privilege of taking the stairs once every few months from my office (on the 27th floor) down to the lobby.  For, you know, practice and familiarity in case of emergencies. 

Tomorrow at 4:30 we’ll be doing a mass evacuation of the entire office.  It’s the first time this size evacuation has ever been practiced in our building.  Imagine if you will a narrow stair well and hundreds of out of shape secretaries, lawyers, and similar schlepping down at the same time.  It promises to be a grand ol’ time, let me tell you.  My job (which desperately needs a new name) is the Male Searcher.  True story.  It is my responsibility to check all the men’s restrooms on our floor in the event of an emergency to tell them (mid-business, mind you) to wrap it up and head to the stairs.  Since this is not going to be an actual emergency, I will require them (by the authority vested in me by my bright red hat) to wash their hands first.

Twenty-seven floors later, we will head to a designated meeting spot a few blocks away to find out how long it took for everyone to go home instead of coming to the designated meeting spot. 

And then the NEXT day, I’ll help move a couch and other furniture down 5 flights of stairs.  Not complaining, mind you, just mentally preparing. 

Y’all pray for me this weekend (or just send me some Advil).


Sunburns & Cinema

May 27, 2008

Howdy gang,

I had a real nice Memorial Day holiday.  Hope you all did as well.  I spent yesterday on a rooftop in Manhattan soaking up the sun and other festivities with friends both new and not-so-new (can’t really say old, I’ve only known them 3 months or so). 

Saturday morning I saw the new Indiana Jones.  I spent part of my lunch break reading online reviews from different sites to see if they were similar to mine and I have found this movie has really polarized a lot of movie fans.  My room mate and myself included.  He felt it was the logical progression of the series and a decent addition.  I feel that if this is the logical progression, then this installment shouldn’t have been made.  My conclusion (to sum it up as short and spoiler-free as possible), is that I might have enjoyed this movie more had it not been made with Indiana Jones characters I have loved for so many years.  If you are going to attempt to add on to something as iconic as I.J., then you had best bring your A game.   It’s like a sculptor needing to know when his work is finished and to stop chipping away the stone.  Chip too much and you’ll disfigure your creation.  Unfortunately, it feels like Spielberg and Lucas needed a few bucks so they pulled out old reliable and milked the fans a little.   Has anybody else seen it yet that would be willing to share their thoughts?

I’ve been invited to a bachelor party a few weeks from now.  It will likely involve a swimming pool at some point.  If you need me, my mailing address and phone calls will be forwarded to the gym.  I’m helping the groom-to-be move into their new apartment this coming weekend.   Should be fun (in a male bonding, heavy lifting, chaotic sort of way).

Lots more going on I’ll hopefully get to tomorrow.  Y’all be good!



May 21, 2008

I…  I’m speechless.

And yes, that’s who you think it is.


Some Summer Movie Summary

May 14, 2008

Howdy gang.

After a brief hiatus, I finally finished God of War II for Playstation 2 last night.  I got so frustrated with the game at one point I just put it down in search of better things.  Now I can’t wait for part 3.  The catch is that part 3 is coming out for Playstation 3 and I have neither that system nor the money to spend on it right now.

Tomorrow, for one night only, select movie theatres are showing First Blood.  Since this movie first came out in 1982, I’ve obviously never seen it on the big screen before so this will be a real treat.  I’m fairly certain the reason for this showing is to help push the new British comedy Son of Rambow, in which a sheltered child stumbles upon a copy of First Blood and proceeds to remake his own version.  I’ll probably check it out this weekend.  It’s made by the same guys that brought us The Hitchhikers Guide movie.  The more obscure a movie is, usually the more I’ll enjoy it. 

I just love the summer movie season.  It started with Iron Man, which was amazing.  The next Chronicles of Narnia installment comes out this weekend but I’ll probably wait a few weeks to see that one.  I actually wasn’t that enthused about it till I found out Peter Dinklage is in it.  I’m more focused on Indiana Jones at the moment.  After that, I’ll kill a few weeks with Incredible Hulk (out of sheer curiosity), Hellboy 2 and Wall-E to pass the time until July 18 which is, of course, Batman: Dark Knight on IMAX. 

And I’m REALLY excited about the new Sex and the City movie.  Cause the sooner it gets here, the sooner I’ll stop being bombarded by ads with Horse Face on them.

Have a good’n



May 12, 2008

Actual conversation at McDonald’s

McLady: Welcome to McDonald’s how may I help you?
J: Good afternoon. I’d like a bacon & cheese angus burger with no onions please.
McLady: Meal?
J: No, just the burger.
McLady: Is that all?
J: No, I’d also like one of your new Southern Style Chicken Sandwiches
McLady: A McChicken?
J: *Pointing to huge picture on menu* No, a Southern Style Chicken Sandwich.
McLady: McChicken?
J: *picking up smaller display from counter and holding it up in front of her* Southern. Style. Chicken. Sandwich.
McLady: Ok. Is that all?
J: Medium sweet tea please.
*end of transaction*

You guessed it, I got a McChicken. I didn’t bother returning to the counter to argue. I just can’t compete with that kind of unrelenting ignorance.

And God help us I think she was old enough to vote.

You’re Not Helping.

May 9, 2008

Anyone who regularly takes a subway has to endure certain irritations.  These include (but are definitely not limited to) beggars, loud iPods, teenagers and religious fanatics.

This morning, there was a particularly loud older lady on the train attempting to save EVERYONE from a fiery hell.  I was reading, so I didn’t have my iPod in and I heard every word she was saying.  I did not disagree with what she was saying in principal.  Jesus died, he rose from the grave, through him we have salvation, God loves us, etc.  The core facts she was spouting were true.  This was almost a relief compared to some of the other more vile things I’ve heard on the street.  I was informed a few weeks ago that God is black and hates all white people, for instance.

The problem is that you’re just not going to reach anyone by putting them in uncomfortable situations, even if your theology is sensible.  Furthermore, you’re not going to reach a New Yorker during their morning commute.  We want to be left ALONE because we probably haven’t had our coffee yet.  Bad timing aside, I believe that screaming about God’s love to total strangers just doesn’t give a good impression to people on the fence about accepting Christ.  

It’s all about balance.  Not saying anything to anyone about Christ is wrong.  The bible calls us to tell others about Christ’s love.   But there’s the other extreme which is running around forcing your religion down other people’s throats and slapping them with gospel tracts.  All you’re doing at that point is making Christians look bad and turning people away from God entirely.  You’ve hurt your own cause.  If you’re going to tell someone about Christ’s love, then you should be presenting it in a Christlike manner.

Happy Friday everyone!


My Thoughts Exactly

May 8, 2008

“This must be Thursday,” said Arthur musing to himself, sinking low over his beer, “I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”

– Douglas Adams; The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

By Request…

May 7, 2008

Something else I could have put on the previous list I suppose: I worked at Sears for all of 3 months.

I was with a group of guys responsible for the signs and displays in the store.  About four of us total. Those neat displays and red sale signs all over the place?  All us. 

Working with that group of miscreants lead to a lot more fun than we should have had on the clock.  One such adventure involved an 8 foot long piece of thick shipping cardboard and a steep stairwell used by service personnel.  It was a fun little slide down and a quick lesson in momentum.  If you plant your feet at the base of a fast, steep slide you’ll actually send yourself forward headfirst. 

I may have embellished slightly…  the hole isn’t the size of my entire head – just the top 1/3 or so.

– J

Did You Know…

May 2, 2008

 Things you might not know about J…

  • I eat the tops off my blueberry muffins before eating the rest of them.
  • My second semester of college (while still a theatre major) I developed a stage performance based on Metallica Songs complete with set designs and choreographed fight sequences.
  • I’m OCD about the keys on my key-ring.  They all have to face the same direction.
  • I think it’s sexy when a woman ties a man’s tie for him.
  • My cell phone is always on vibrate because I got tired of turning the ringer off for movies and dinners.
  • I once went 3 days without sleep just to see if I could.
  • Every time I’ve moved somewhere a significant distance, I’ve listened to Fly Away From Here by Aerosmith at some point during the trip.
  • In a stairwell at Sears in Longview Tx, there is a hole the exact shape of my head…
  • I’ve been involved in two car accidents. In both, I was driving a Dodge Neon less than a year old.
  • I have a fear of Dodge Neons less than a year old.
  • I’m totally convinced that my niece is cuter than your niece.

Some would call this a “meme” I think.  It’s not intended to be.  I just felt like posting some random facts for fun.  While these aren’t deep dark secrets by any means (nor things I’m particularly proud of), they are things not many people know.  If you’re feeling outgoing, share one of your own.

Happy Friday everyone!


Written Transitions

May 1, 2008

If you’re here, then I should hope by now you’ve noticed I switched over to WordPress.  I decided to leave Livejournal because of a lack of features many other sights offer (better spell check, site traffic info, etc).  I know a lot of people with WordPress sites and they seem to like them.  So far though, I do have some thoughts…

The import process is very involved.  This is most likely because no blog service wants to lose members so they make it so convoluted that your average person won’t go through that much trouble and will just stay where they are.  Once I figure out something like that is going on, I go through all the trouble simply out of spite.

As well as being complicated and involving saving and uploading a separate XML file for every month of blogging, it can’t bring over comments because they aren’t part of the code so (very sadly) I’ve lost them all.  If you’re just killing time (you’re surfing blogs, aren’t you?) then go back and read a few and share your thoughts. 

I drafted most of my blogs in Word before sending them to LJ.  Something about this aggravates the XML gods and so the spacing, fonts and font sizes are a little messed up.  In some cases, whole paragraphs were out of order or omitted entirely.  I’ve fixed most of them, but please forgive me if you come across something I missed.

Overall, the good definitely outweighs the bad so far.  Welcome to my new spot and thanks for reading!