Return to P.C. Land

You may recall my first trip to P.C. Land

I found another brochure for P.C. Land regarding its government and I wanted to share it with everyone.  Makes perfect sense to me.

Politics of P.C.

The political processes in P.C. Land are, of course, geared to ensure that everyone is happy and equal at all times.  As the term “President” seemed to leave people with the impression that their individual opinions weren’t the most important, P.C. Land has replaced this office with a Demographically United Non-Controversial Equalitarian.  The D.U.N.C.E.’s key role is to tell people whatever they want to hear, whenever they want to hear it, regardless of the actions they may take afterward.  The people of P.C. Land, you see, are generally content as long as they are being told they are getting their way. 

Election Season

Equality is the name of the game in P.C. Land.  Therefore anyone of any race, creed, color, species (as animals have equal rights to humans) or sex (if specified) can run for D.U.N.C.E. 

In order for everyone to feel included and important, each resident of P.C. Land (see previous brochure, footnote 2) is given a note card to write the one issue that is most important to them.  These cards are then mailed to potential D.U.N.C.E.’s and they read the name of the person who sent each card and their issue on television.  They then tell the person very sincerely that, “This issue is the first thing I will deal with once elected.”  Then they move on to the next card, and everyone is resonably happy.

As the campaign continues, the candidates then travel around the country politely telling everyone why they feel they are the best choice and taking advantage of any past personal problems other candidates may have had.  As candidates respectfully bash, degrade and assault one another (politely, of course), eventually the people decide who is the most manipulative, wealthy, lying, self-centered and two-faced.  This person is, logically, given the office of Demographically United Non-Controversial Equalitarian*(see footnote).

Times of War

War is bad and very, very rude.  People could get hurt.  Therefore we in P.C. Land reject any and all forms of war.  If a stern talking to won’t work, then the offending nations are clearly not playing fair and should cease and desist all bad acts and start thinking like we do at once.  If the offending persons continue to misbehave, then they will promptly be sent a very angry letter using forces including (but not limited to) italics, underscores and (in extreme cases) capital letters.

Citizen’s Rights

In P.C. Land you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, as long as it doesn’t offend anyone else. This makes for some pretty boring evenings since hardly anyone leaves their homes for fear of offending someone or being offended themselves. If you are offended, it is your right (some would say your duty) to tell the persons offending you that they have done so. It should be noted that your words will probably have little or no effect on him/her/it, but as long as you feel better that’s what really matters. 

P.C. Land. Government that revolves around YOU!!

*If for some reason there is a tie, the tie is broken by counting the number and size of P.C. Land flag pins the applicants wear on a given campaign day.  Whoever wears the most wins because these are the kinds of issues that deserve the most attention when campaigning

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2 Responses to “Return to P.C. Land”

  1. Popgun Says:

    Son, you have The Gift…
    -Popgun

  2. TexanNewYorker Says:

    🙂

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