Version -2.0

Time for a good ol’ rant. 

The entertainment industry’s lack of creativity has created a time when people in their twenties can say, “You know, back in my day…” and have merit in doing so.

As I type this, I am watching the new Knight Rider.  Words fail me to express my aggravation and disgust at this worthless piece of television.  But you know me, I’ll try anyway…

1) At least the original Knight Rider TRIED to acknowledge the existence of basic physics.  I just watched two grown adults jump into the bed of truck which then morphed into a Mustang (NOT a Trans Am), placing the two people comfortably in the front seats.  Huh?

2) That Mustang was then hit by a heat seeking missile filled with a form of napalm.  Fortunately, KITT “diverted just enough energy to deflect the blast” but the napalm covered the car turning it into a ball of flame on wheels.

Folks, this was before the opening credits.  The continued 30 minutes I’ve watched has been sexual references, impossible G.P.S. technology and the worst acting I’ve seen since the school play in seventh grade.

Oh wait!!  Somebody just stuck their wounded hand in KITT’s blankityblankin’ glove compartment and received stitches and local anesthetic.  I wouldn’t have bought that when I was 8!!  And now they are marketing this garbage to (presumably educated) adults?!

Yes, Knight Rider in the 80’s was campy and unbelievable.  Turbo Boost was laughable and KITT could supposedly open locked doors in buildings from across the street by remote.  I guess my problem is that all these awful remakes seem to take themselves seriously while their originals didn’t try so hard.  The 18 wheeler with 4 people in it from the original has been replaced by a top secret compound with a hundred people and plenty of pointless spinning blue and red mood lights. 

Special effects does not make everything better.  Neither does gratuitous sex.  I wish these producers would leave my childhood memories alone and quit ripping everything off.  God forbid someone do some creative work and come up with something new.

Ninja Turtles, Terminator, Knight Rider, Care Bears, Dukes of Hazzard, Beverley Hillbillies, Transformers, and Halloween come to mind just off the top of my head.  I know for a fact they are in works to make a new Robocop, GIJoe, Green Hornet and more.  And if remaking something isn’t enough, then they just turn everything that makes a little money into an unplanned trilogy (Pirates of the Caribbean) or add more sequels to already completed stories (Indiana Jones) thus sacrificing story and quality of film for profits because they know people will go see things regardless of whether or not they suck. 

Enough is enough already.

And you kids stay off my lawn!! *shakes fist*

Agree?  Disagree?  More examples to share?  Vent away!!

– J

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4 Responses to “Version -2.0”

  1. popgun Says:

    Agreed. When you get to my (advanced) age, you start realizing that King Solomon was right – there’s nothing new under the sun. You start watching what looks like a new show, recognize the theme, figure out the plot, and are bored from there on out. Special effects and razzle dazzle do not make a show worthwhile.

    Next thing you know, you start blogging to try to actually produce something of worth, instead of just soaking up worthless drivel from the entertainment industry.

    Of course, then there’s the Wii…


  2. J Says:

    Case in point…

    Three new films, three unoriginal remakes/rehashes. Although I’ll admit, I enjoy Tim Burton’s take on just about everything, so it will probably be watchable. He (as a creative director) has yet to lose my trust.

  3. TexanNewYorker Says:

    Looks like Slate reviewer Troy Patterson shares your disdain for the new show:

  4. Jon Says:

    The better/worst part is when you see something touted as original and realize that originality is simply another industry word for “monster mash the same stuff we’ve seen and call it something else”; none the less, a diamond in the rough, so far, is Fringe. Beyond the first episode which made me think I’d have to give up on sci-fi totally, the show has done some fun things… none of it original to those of us who have read Verne or watched any of the sci-fi shows by J.J., but passable. Check it out on Hulu if you haven’t seen it yet. At least it’s not Sarah Conner (I’d rather watch Nova/ or play Spore, as I have after work every day this week). Fringe is, so far, a mash-up of X-files, Half-Life, Verne’s “Master of the World”, and CSI (sort of). I’m giving it a chance. If there’s no diversion into more episodic (and, by proxy, more sustainable) shows then it’s bound to fail after no more than two seasons, but the story is interesting right now.
    When will they learn that not everyone can keep up with these 22 episode miniseries. Go back to the good old days and make trek style episodes where the character arcs are the primary changing mechanism.
    Oh, and speaking of rip-offs, try watching the original outer limits series (1960s) and see how many plots you recognize from stuff they’ve come out with in the last 20 years. That’s right everyone and there brother has ripped that show off for plot lines, sometimes shamelessly.

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