Pearls of Wisdumb

They say nice guys finish last.  What they don’t tell you is what exactly you’re finishing or how to tell when you’re done and how well you did.

I believe that internet pop ups are this generation’s magazine inserts.

Getting into heaven is a lot like getting a job in NYC.  It’s not who you are, it’s who you know.

Sometimes love is like skydiving without a parachute.  It’s not the falling that hurts, it’s the sudden stop at the end.

In difficult times like these, you have to ask what can be learned from them.  It’s the only way to keep them from happening again.  Never in recent history have people been so grateful for their jobs, clung so tightly to their families and looked so desperately to God for help.  Our priorities are becoming very clear to us and we’re learning what we can and cannot do without.

Speaking of which, it’s time to cut all the unnecessary spending that goes on in the world so we can use that money for more productive things.  Some money-wasting things we as a planet should get rid of include (but are not limited to):

  • Sesame Seeds (The worlds most useless food)
  • Anything sold in Sky Mall magazine
  • Paris Hilton
  • Those little cardboard things that wrap around Startbucks cups (Man up, people.  Your coffee isn’t that hot)
  • Arena Football
  • Reality Television
  • Most television shows, now that I think about it.
  • PETA

Hope you’ve enjoyed this random and mildly sarcastic glance inside my head.  Feel free to add to the above list in the comments.

Y’all be good,

– J

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7 Responses to “Pearls of Wisdumb”

  1. Texas Grandma Says:

    There is a lot of unnecessary spending going on these days and a whole lot we could do without. Take a look at The Little House On The Prairie Series. They worked hard at home and on the job. They knew the value of close family ties and they always looked to God for direction. It was true on a TV series and most surely in real life at that time. Our priorities need to be in order then all the rest will fall in place.

  2. SFord Says:

    By doing away with the cardboard holders of our beloved coffee drinks, many people would lose their jobs. The Arena Football League is deteriorating as we speak. Therefore, people are losing jobs because of it. Yes, we should get priorities straight, but it does not mean that we should all bury our money in Miracle Whip jars in the back yard. Those that have extra money, need to spend it to help generate more for those who do not. They should look at it as an investment because as history tells us, it will come back to them in time. I am blaming our local news stations. Every single night all we hear about is how worse are we are than we were the day before. Every single station has a nightly segment of how people can save money with alternative spending habits. This not only makes people want to spend less, but it also makes others not want to spend at all. I read back over my words and realize how they could come across to someone who doesn’t know me. I am definitely being very positive, yet realistic at the same time. We can all help each other by spending what we can. I have chosen to help the good employees of Bass Pro Shop with my extra spending dollars. Who are you going to help?

  3. Ali Says:

    I love it!

    Also, I tend to agree. Historically, the mass hysteria that inevitably follows the realization of a shaky economy is far more devastating than the shakiness itself. At the moment, the outlook is realistically dire–we’re creeping up on that double-digit unemployment mark, which means that there are a *lot* of families out there that simply won’t be able to make ends meet, but we have to balance the need for security against the hope and faith that we can and will emerge from the other side of this, and it seems like doom, gloom, and inevitable catastrophe is being trumpeted from every portal.

    Booms have come and gone, so have recessions and depressions and, yes, the panics that eerily resemble what we’re going through now. Look at J.P. Morgan’s faith (well, that and enlightened self-interest) in the Panic of 1907—moreover, look at what caused the Panic of 1907. It’ll sound familiar. Now, though? It’s barely a sidenote in history and economic classes.

    As for me? I’m leaving BPS to you fishery-folk, and will do all I can to support my friends on Fifth Avenue.

    (Seriously, though, I have to admit, more and more of my discretionery income is moving to charity. There are real people that are really suffering, and no one deserves to go to bed cold or hungry.)

    Oh, and J? I love seseme seeds. If Stephen gets to keep his Starbucks cardboards, I get to keep them. Instead, let’s ditch ATM receipts and the extra sticker/security seal that goes on top of a shrink-wrapped DVD.

  4. J Says:

    TxGma – I agree about the priorities. But my priorities are a lot different than Little House on the Prairie. My priorities DEMAND indoor plumbing, for instance, even though that’s something they didn’t have back then.

    SFord – I attempted to stimulate the economy a few months ago by buying a new TV and a laptop from Best Buy. Perhaps if I had bought them from Circuit City they might still be in business…

    Ali – I may have to fight you to the death on this one. How does one *love* sesame seeds?? They have no flavor and all they do is fall off the bun and get all over the floor. They add nothing to the dining experience. But I am 100% with you on the sticker thingys on DVD’s. They need to rework that whole system.

  5. Ali Says:

    Well, that begs the question–why are you dropping seseme seeds on the floor rather than throwing them at unsuspecting passerby? I cannot hold the poor seeds accountable for your misuse of them, I’m afraid.

    Also–seseme seeds in green beans, or with broccoli–yum!

    And finally–seseme seeds=tahini=hummus and all sorts of amazing middle eastern food.

    I could go for a nice fight to the death right now. . . I already had to morph into a bumble to get to work, so a deathmatch could slide nicely into my schedule–how about 3 o’clock? Or 4:30? I have a marketing meeting at 5, though, so we’d have to make it quick. 😛

  6. Popgun Says:

    Well, sesame seeds on buns go well with butter and catsup…

  7. Texas Grandma Says:

    O.K. I give in. As far as sesame seeds go I can take them or leave them. As for the economy. I have 2 grandchildren, one is 3 and the other is a newborn. I went to Build A Bear last week, enough said.

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