Archive for July, 2009

Rimshot! Stat!

July 29, 2009

I waited tables for several years, and out of that I’ve got lots of stories.  A few of them are even fit to tell in public.  Such as this one:

One lunch rush, I found myself waiting on our family doctor (long retired) and 4 of his friends.  This would be the same man that assisted in my birth.  I hadn’t seen him in years and after a brief catch up, he introduced me to the others at the table, all doctors.

The time came to take their orders.  In guest order it came like this:

1 – Chicken Fried Steak
2 – Chicken Fried Steak
3 – Chicken Fried Steak
4 – Chicken Fried Steak
5 – Chicken Salad

Before walking away from the table I said, “So…  Four out of five doctors recommend our chicken fried steak?”

I got nothing.  Not so much as a smile from any of them.  I, however, thought it was hilarious.

– J

Topic? What Topic?

July 24, 2009

Well so much for being a “stay at home blogger”.

When you’re young you get asked all the time what you want to be when you grow up.  For me, around the age of 8 that answer could change ten times a week.  Like some kind of career oriented attention deficit disorder.   Fireman! Archeologist! Astronaut! *gasp* I got it! An archeologist who fights fires in space!!!

Clearly this was before I learned that space was a vacuum.  Or at least before I knew what that meant.  You can’t tell an 8 year old that there’s a vacuum in space, because he’ll just imagine his mom sucking up asteroids with a Hoover.  I had a similar problem with microwave towers.

“Dad, what’s on the top of that tower?”
“Well son, that’s a microwave emitter.”

Seemed a bit out of the way for popcorn to me.  And don’t even get me started on the time he told me there was a transformer on the  power line down the street.  See?  Puns literally come naturally to me.  I can’t help it.

Hmm…  This post was supposed to be about my career and looking for hobbies on the side.  I think I like this better.

Happy Friday!

– J

Sharing is Caring

July 11, 2009

I just saw two people walking down the street together.  One person had on two belts.  The other was showing their underwear.

I don’t understand fashion.

Happy Saturday!!

– J

Why I Haven’t Blogged in a Week

July 8, 2009

Well, first there’s this:


which was fun, but then there’s this during the day…


Yep, that’s seven inches of dead trees which comprise the work that has come to me since Monday.

Now, according to a recent statistic I made up, 92% of my blog entries are posted at work in the morning before I get started.  So just for fun (and in the interest of productivity) I’m going to start “home blogging”.

The theory here is that at home my attitude will be different and thus affect my writing.  The other theory is that when I’m not at work and if I’m not out doing other things, I’m probably in my papasan chair watching stand-up and not really inclined to move (much less create coherent sentences).  So making a habit of this may require a slight adjustment in my blogational fortitude. 

Come to think of it, my list of personal adjustments I want to make in life makes that pile of paper up there look like one of the players in the picture above it.  I need to get to the gym more often, I need to bring lunch instead of buying it, I need to put more in savings, I need to keep up with friends, and the list goes on.  It’s an aggravating list and I bet we all have one.  I guess I’m just a basics kind of guy.  Because I’ve got those covered – food, shelter, clothes.  After that, everything else sort of congeals into some kind of adult bachelor meets 6 year old existence.  “I’ll pass on laundry tonight because there’s a new episode of House.  Or perhaps I could go jogging. Oh wait, I could play Guitar Hero.  Let’s see…  Jogging = running and sweating.  Guitar Hero = standing still and feeling like a rock star.”  Not a tough decision, really.

Anywho, life is what it is and I’m enjoying most of it.  I live in the greatest city in the world, I have amazing friends and family and, overall, God has been entirely too good to me.

Have a good’n,

– J

Thank You, Apple Care

July 2, 2009

I’ve had my Macbook Pro a year and one month (to the day).  In that time I’ve had zero issues with its general operation.  It’s a great machine that runs really well. 

This past Thursday I was watching a DVD on it and decided to move to the DVD player on the television.  The disk ejected with no problems.  After the movie was over, I went back to my laptop to check my email only to find the computer had frozen.  This has never happened, and the only option I had was to turn it off and reboot.  I was only able to complete half of this process though, because it wouldn’t turn back on.