February

February.  The non-conformist month.  Other months had to pick between 30 or 31 days.  Nope, not February.  February said, “You know what, I’m just not that motivated.  I think 28 days is plenty.  And you know what else?  I’m going to put an “r” in my name just to confuse people.”

February is a lazy month and tries to put off doing as much actual “work” as possible.  About halfway through, February likes to take advantage of all those people in lurv* and distracted by their lurvliness.  Then he coasts by the last week or so.  Usually by tossing in random snow storms to keep people occupied. 

You may not know this, but March and February do not get along.  The reason March feels like it takes forever is because it has 31 days to pick up February’s slack. 

But every 4 years or so February gets motivated.  “Okay, fine.  Sorry I’ve been a bum lately, guys.  I’m going to do more to pull my weight around here.  I’m going to add another day.  Because I’m just that kind of month.  Please, please…  Don’t thank me.  Glad to help out.”

And the other months think, “Maybe this time he means it.  Maybe he really is changing for the better.  Who knows?  Next year he might finally hit 30 days like the rest of us.”

But he never does.  He goes right back to his old routine.  Some months just never change.

– J

*Lurv – The early stages of love, when it’s still in that pubescent stage that (like any teenager) annoys the crap out of everyone within a 20 foot radius.  Except the two people in it, of course.

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4 Responses to “February”

  1. popgun Says:

    “February is a lazy month” – followed by March!

    -Popgun

  2. TexanNewYorker Says:

    February may be a lazy month, but at least he’s not as hot, irritating, and useless as August.

  3. SFord Says:

    Good stuff Bud! I haven’t read your blog in a while. We got a new computer, so it wasn’t in my favorites and part of a weekly ritual foe me anymore. I am glad to be back. Keep it coming.

  4. J Says:

    “Then he coasts by the last week or so. Usually by tossing in random snow storms to keep people occupied.” Did I call that one or what?

    This just in: I think I might be psychic. Of course, if I were psychic I would have already known that too… Omniscience is hard.

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