The Moon Pie
Moon Pies are by description, marshmallow filling between two pieces of cake. Moon Pies are in actuality, not. The substance in the center remains a mystery, but the outer cookie-esque layers are a rare combination of graham cracker and cardboard (the cardboard gives it its nice, flakey consistency).
Moon Pies come in two flavors: Yellow and Brown. The package might say Banana or chocolate, but trust me on this – the flavors are yellow and brown.
- Must be purchased from the shelf of a gas station
- Is curiously dry
- The outer layer must stick to the wrapper when opened
- Must be consumed with an R.C. Cola
The R.C. Cola is an interesting requirement, and probably not everyone will agree with me. The combination of a Moon Pie and any soda* is something that only the digestive system of a 10 year old boy (or a mountain goat) can typically handle. Much like soda and pop rocks, but not nearly as entertaining.
There are many bizarre and inexplicable facts of life in the universe. One such universal anomaly is the age of the Moon Pie. For unknown reasons, the expiration date marked on each individual Moon Pie is perpetually one month older than whatever date you find it. For example, if you find your Moon Pie in February 2010, the expiration marked on the package will be at least January 2010 (or earlier). The greatest scientists in the world have been unable to explain this phenomenon, primarily because they haven’t tried. My guess is that somehow time slowed down in old gas stations and we just never noticed.
Hope you’ve enjoyed this brief history of snackology. If you’ve never had one and come across a Moon Pie, go for it. They don’t taste “bad” exactly. They just… taste. I will however say that if this is what people eat exclusively on the moon, I’ll happily stay Earthbound a while.
* Pronounced “coke”