Archive for July, 2010

Putting the “Try” in Poetry

July 30, 2010

Shamelessly ripped off from Shel Silverstein’s “I Cannot Go to School Today”.

I cannot go to work today,
Said angry little blogger J.
My head spins, throbs and hurts.
I have no clean pants, socks or shirts.

The N is down for track repair.
And I hear there’s no conditioned air.
Have you seen the news on CNN?
A pollen count of one hundred and ten!!

The summer heat will melt my brain.
And I think there’s a very good chance of rain.
Humidity makes my knees creak and ache,
which walking would exacerbate.

I can’t get into work without I.D.,
And I seem to have lost mine, mysteriously.
Looks like it vanished during the night.
It’s been stolen (or “accidentally” set alight).

I cannot type cause my fingers broke,
So using a mouse would be a joke.
The sound of telephones makes me twitch.
Did you know office chairs make me itch?

If I touch a stapler my vision…
What?  What’s that?  What’s that you say?
You say today is… payday?

Crap!  I’m late!  Get outta my way!

– J

I Want Confetti. And a Pony.

July 27, 2010

Ah HA!  I kept from going a whole month without a post by a day.  I win for life.  Or at least for this moment that I’ve chosen to brag on myself for a menial accomplishment. 

Seems like every year July sneaks up on me.  I brace myself for January so I’m fully aware when it arrives.  Heck, we throw it a welcoming party.  I happily accept March since the year is in full swing.  I take in every day of cool weather as Spring beings to uncoil itself and then BAM.  July is about to become August and I still haven’t done anything of merit.  Except for never going a month without an update, of course.

On the same train of thought, I can’t possibly tell you how I woke up this morning approaching 30.  Or what I’ve accomplished so far.  Or even what exactly it is I have left to do. 

Okay, okay.  That’s way too deep for a Tuesday.  Tuesday’s are depressing enough on their own without me adding serious, introspective questions to the mix.  We can ponder the meaning of life and how to prove one has been successful another time.  A Thursday perhaps. 

See you in no more than 30 days (or your money back),

– J