Fight Night

2:43 AM

Consciousness works its unwanted way into your soundly sleeping mind.  Gently at first, almost soothingly calling you back to reality.  One bleary eye angrily cautiously opens to explore what Consciousness could possibly want that is so important.  The second eye reluctantly follows suit when the first lands on the clock and assesses the time.

“Wow.  A whole three hours,” says the brain, sarcastically.  The brain looks forward to the remaining 4 hours of sleep it will happily return to after kicking Consciousness in the face.

But Consciousness doesn’t give up easily.  Too many synapses have fired and now the brain has the audacity to start *thinking* about things.  It reviews the previous day.  It considers what this day will hold.  It thinks this might make an interesting blog post and drafts the three paragraphs you just read.

Eventually the brain decides a return to sleep is the best idea, but now the body is awake too…  The brain had to wake it up to roll over and look at the clock.  And now the brain wants to go back to sleep, but the body is not willing.  And so you toss and turn and then toss and turn some more.

You find yourself searching for the magical combination of positions that will let you sleep again:

1) On the stomach, head on the firm pillow, right arm under the firm pillow, left arm holding the soft one, right foot sticking out from under the sheet…  No.

2) On the back, head straight forward, right arm holding soft pillow, whole left leg sticking out from under the sheet…  No.

3) On the right side, hugging soft pillow with both arms, entirely under the sheet…  No.

4) Screw the soft pillow.  On the stomach, full sprawl, much like a chalk outline at a murder scene…  No.

5)  On the left side, no sheet, head on firm pillow, right leg bent at 90 degrees…  No.

6) Sit up, curse, flip firm pillow, flop face down and scream into the cool side…  No.

Exhaustion sets in and the brain and body both give up.  In a final push against Consciousness, after 2 hours the brain forces you to lay uncomfortably and dream about bicycling.

You hate bicycling.

Happy Monday, everyone.

– J *yawn*


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3 Responses to “Fight Night”

  1. Jean Says:

    1) Thank you! You listened!
    2) You’re welcome to come to the other end of the N train to crash on the memory-foam futon if you think you might sleep more soundly there, though that does mean conceding the sleep dearth for at least an ensuing two more hours.
    3) Realizing this to be an inordinately impractical solution, may I suggest reading the dictionary in very dim light.
    4) On a completely unrelated note, can we ask Kyleen to begin blogging again? I don’t know her at all, but she’s got some great recipes on her blog, and I’m feeling culinarily creative.

  2. missywilky Says:

    #4 is usually my magic position, but that’s getting more difficult to accomplish nowadays. which double sucks because Consciousness finds its way to me quite a bit more frequently now. it’s a terrible juxtapose.

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