Archive for February, 2012

Two Bits

February 16, 2012

It’s disturbing what my brain decides is worth getting excited about.

The card swiper at the Key Foods near my previous apartment used to silently drive me insane.  I’ve never shared this with anyone because these are the kinds of things you hide from loved ones lest they force you into a mental hospital.  I’m sharing it with you now because I don’t love you it finally worked itself out.

The checkout person would ask “Credit or debit?” and I’d say “Debit”.  I’d enter my 4 digit pin number and then hit “Enter”.  That 5 button combination makes an absolutely perfectly toned Shave and a Haircut.  But only. the. first. part.  So I was forced to tap something twice to finish it.  The swiper, the counter, the checkout lady, etc.  Because we all know few things in life are as frustrating as an unfinished Shave and a Haircut.  Total strangers will honk back if you start it in your car.  It’s the audible equivalent of keeping your hand up for a high-five and being left hanging.  It’s like having one shoe tighter than the other, but its your ears and not your shoes.  You get the idea.

This has gone on for the last 5 years.  Five, y’all.  Five years of slow bubbling rage.  But now that I moved I go to another Key Foods.  And this card swiper has two additional prompts asking “Is this amount correct?” and “Cash back?”.  I answer Yes and No and these two tones perfectly complete the Shave and a Haircut and all is finally right with the world.

And everyone in line looks at me funny because of the enormous smile on my face and then wonders why I’m so happy about buying frozen pizza.

– J