Snapple Cap

September 13, 2010

Yep, it’s time for another Snapple Cap.  This time I got one pleasantly relevant.

“Real Fact” #711

“To estimate the temperature in degrees Fahrenheit, count the number of cricket chirps in 15 seconds then add 37.”

Apparently there’s actually something to this.  A quick google search will give you plenty of other sites about the same concept. 

And if you think about how much I hate hot weather this might explain a few things about me…

– J *chirp chirp*


A.C. (Not Slater, the Other One)

September 1, 2010

This past weekend brought Roomie, Mrs. Roomie and myself to Atlantic City.  I went for three specific reasons and a few vague ones just to keep it interesting.  1) We had floor seats to an Aerosmith concert 2) To have my first real poker experience at a casino and 3) To get the hell out of the city for while.  The vague reasons included things like riding in a car, laughing at drunk people, and jumping on hotel beds.

All went much better than I anticipated.  I’ve talked on here about Aerosmith plenty, so I’ll not get into that again.  Sammy Hagar opened with an awesome set.  I’ve never seen him live and he was just as hyper as you’d expect.  Aerosmith did great as always and our seats were really good.  Highlight of the show: Joe Perry using his guitar strap as a whip and beating the strings on a guitar he had propped on an amp. 

I played Hold’em at Caesar’s Palace Saturday afternoon.  I bought in for $180 and it was very educational.  I’m a mediocre player at best, so I considered myself paying for the experience and assumed it was gone as soon as I sat down.  I cashed out with $215 after about 2 hours.  Nothing worth getting excited about, but hey, it’s 35 more dollars than I had when I walked in.  I was up $150 at one point, but I made a stupid call which knocked me down pretty good.  I started to fizzle after that so I got out while I was still ahead.  Props to Roomie who walked away with over $200!

I haven’t been to Vegas yet, but I think I understand why A.C. got the nickname “Dirty Vegas”.  I’m sure A.C. is a lot smaller and it’s also attached to a pretty rough ghetto a few blocks away from the Boardwalk.  Couldn’t even tell from our hotel though. Compared to the city this was a paradise.  Also, I think of any place where I can see the ocean as “fancy”.

A great time was had by all.  I’m looking forward to another trip back soon for some more poker.  I was too distracted this time with the concert and feeling a little touristy.  I think I’ll play better when poker is my main reason for going.

Y’all stay tuned!  I’m up to something ridiculous…

– J

Like, Awesome

August 6, 2010

WordPress finally added a “like” button in the comments section.  The more stuff you like the more other people can, like, find my blog and junk.  So bust into the archives on the right and go crazy.

Or if you want to wait until they have one for “love” that’s cool too.  But I don’t think that’s ever going to catch on.  No matter how innocent your intentions, randomly asking people to push your “love button” will never end well.

Happy Friday!

– J (likes you)

– Unfortunate update…  Apparently this only works for registered WordPress users.  So, not quite as awesome as originally thought, but a nice feature all the same.

By Request of the Commenters

August 2, 2010

Feel free to print this out and stick it on the nearest refrigerator.

Y’all are silly.

– J

Putting the “Try” in Poetry

July 30, 2010

Shamelessly ripped off from Shel Silverstein’s “I Cannot Go to School Today”.

I cannot go to work today,
Said angry little blogger J.
My head spins, throbs and hurts.
I have no clean pants, socks or shirts.

The N is down for track repair.
And I hear there’s no conditioned air.
Have you seen the news on CNN?
A pollen count of one hundred and ten!!

The summer heat will melt my brain.
And I think there’s a very good chance of rain.
Humidity makes my knees creak and ache,
which walking would exacerbate.

I can’t get into work without I.D.,
And I seem to have lost mine, mysteriously.
Looks like it vanished during the night.
It’s been stolen (or “accidentally” set alight).

I cannot type cause my fingers broke,
So using a mouse would be a joke.
The sound of telephones makes me twitch.
Did you know office chairs make me itch?

If I touch a stapler my vision…
What?  What’s that?  What’s that you say?
You say today is… payday?

Crap!  I’m late!  Get outta my way!

– J

I Want Confetti. And a Pony.

July 27, 2010

Ah HA!  I kept from going a whole month without a post by a day.  I win for life.  Or at least for this moment that I’ve chosen to brag on myself for a menial accomplishment. 

Seems like every year July sneaks up on me.  I brace myself for January so I’m fully aware when it arrives.  Heck, we throw it a welcoming party.  I happily accept March since the year is in full swing.  I take in every day of cool weather as Spring beings to uncoil itself and then BAM.  July is about to become August and I still haven’t done anything of merit.  Except for never going a month without an update, of course.

On the same train of thought, I can’t possibly tell you how I woke up this morning approaching 30.  Or what I’ve accomplished so far.  Or even what exactly it is I have left to do. 

Okay, okay.  That’s way too deep for a Tuesday.  Tuesday’s are depressing enough on their own without me adding serious, introspective questions to the mix.  We can ponder the meaning of life and how to prove one has been successful another time.  A Thursday perhaps. 

See you in no more than 30 days (or your money back),

– J

Let There Be Light (And Dinosaurs)

June 28, 2010

After an exhausting week, Roomie and I decided it would be a good idea to stay in on Friday night, order a giant pizza, have few drinks and watch Jurassic Park.  I don’t feel this was an unfair request of life, seeing as how it had spent the last 5 days repeatedly kicking me in the face.

Around about 8:30 we experienced what I am told is called a “Brown Out”.  This is somewhat less severe than a black out.  I didn’t know there was a color-coded threat level system in place for power outages.  This must be where they got the idea for our national terrorism danger rainbow.  I called ConEd and asked what color alert a light bulb burning out is so I can be prepared.  They hung up on me.

Basically, a brown out is something only major city power grids can be absurd enough to create.  Some of the power goes out.  We lost power to all the lights and all but 4 outlets.  Two in the living room and one in each of our bedrooms.  This still left us with the air conditioner and the TV working so it really didn’t throw us off that much.  We did have to run an extension cord to the fridge though.

I slept in the living room since my room doesn’t have an AC in it.  Apparently things got worse during the night and the city of New York issued a full-on black out in Astoria.  At 4AM I woke up in a puddle of my own sweat and misery so I opened the window to let some air in.  And of course ConEd was outside cutting into the street with a giant saw theoretically attempting to fix the problem. 

Next time I want a relaxing night at home I’ll ask life for something simpler.  Just Ramen, water and network tv maybe.

– J

What Recession?

June 21, 2010

In the last week we’ve been bombarded with news about Apple’s new iPhone.  It’s been well documented that in 24 hours there were 600,000 pre-orders for the new iPhone.  Pre.

Starting price for the iPhone is $400.00.  Let’s go ahead and tack on all the plans, bedazzled cases, etc and say $500.00  I think that’s fair.

My superior math skills tell me that in 1 day people spent $300 million dollars on the same thing.  Actually, no.  They spent that much on a confirmation number.

We as a species can’t feed and clothe everyone, but in one damn day we proved just how much we’re willing to spend on a unified interest.  We have serious priority issues, we all know it, and we’re not going to do a thing about it.

Not saying I’ve done my part.  As I type this I’m downloading the upgrade for the iPhone I already have.  I’m just processing some thoughts and felt like sharing.  Sorry if I’m coming across like some pretentious Bono wanna-be.


Proof I’m Always Right

June 12, 2010

Copied this from the results of a left/right brain dominance app on my iPhone. Don’t usually go for this kind of stuff, but I liked this for whatever reason. Plus it’s 7:30 in the morning, I’m on the train and uncaffeinated. I’m allowed to be random.


HOLISTIC. RANDOM. CONCRETE. INTUITIVE. NON VERBAL. FANTASY ORIENTED. If you have a Right Hemisphere Dominance, you process information from whole to parts: you don’t pay attention to details but look instead at the big picture. You don’t adapt well to fixed schedules or rules: you like to manage your own time and enjoy doing many things at the same time. You learn best with pictures, diagrams, charts, and videos, and are good at talking about your feelings and interpreting other people’s emotions. Sometimes you may know that something is right and not know why: you just know it, and therefore you are great at seeing through lies or tricks. You are impulsive and very expressive, and probably are a dreamer. You are best at social activities and have a special quality for artistic endeavours such as music or creative activities.

Not a bad summary of the ol’ J.

Happy weekend!


New Header

May 26, 2010

Thanks Jon!!

– J

J See D.C.

May 24, 2010

Got back from my trip to DC last night.  We had a great time and I’m glad I finally made it out there.

It was one of the easiest places to vacation I’ve ever been.  Most of the major attractions are within walking distance of one another, a lot of it’s free, and the downtown area is very clean.  And even at the most popular monuments it wasn’t overly crowded (by NYC standards, mind you).  I wasn’t there long enough to get a good handle on navigating the subway system, but it seemed efficient.  Fortunately we had people with us who knew the area to get us from A to B.

I don’t want to bore you with details, so I’ll keep this short.  The monuments are exactly what you’ve already seen in pictures, just a lot bigger and more moving in person.  I walked away from this weekend with a renewed interest in our nation’s history and a desire to go back and relearn all the stuff that I ignored growing up.  I think I feel a documentary kick coming on…

Anyway, it was great to get out of the city a few days and to spend time with friends.  I’m already thinking about my next trip to see everything we didn’t get to this time.

– J


May 11, 2010

Something to think about…

Top Ten Reasons You Should Quit Facebook

This is not a David Letterman Top 10 rip off.  This guy makes some interesting points and backs a lot of it up with supporting sites.

More avoiding annoyance than being cautious, I have had very few apps on my Facebook page since signing up about 3 years ago.  Glad I did.

I probably won’t delete my account.  Sadly, it’s the easiest way to keep up with some people these days (myself included, more often than not).  And I know a lot of people who think sending out a FB invite is the only way to plan an event.  But I will be taking a much closer look at my information and personal settings.

Have a good one!

– J

I ♥ NY (And Analogies)

May 3, 2010

It’s funny how your opinion of something can change over time.  I remember when I was around 13 I got my first electric razor.  This is a big step in a young man’s life.  About once a week when the time came, I’d announce to the world at large (way before Facebook status updates), “I’m going to shave now!!  ‘Cause, you know, I have to shave.  ‘Cause I’m a man.”  About 30 seconds later, I was ready to kill a grizzly bear with my bare hands and raw masculinity.

Nowadays, forget it.  It’s a nuisance and something I put off as long as possible.  Seriously, God.  Did man really need hair on his neck, some of the most sensitive skin on the body?  Methinks not.

The new just wears off certain things with exposure.  Some faster than others.  You don’t always feel your point of view changing.  You just wake up one day and realize that it has. It happens with stages of life, where you live, who you love.  Everything.  For me, New York City has been a series of ups and downs in this way.  Some days I can’t imagine being anywhere else, others I wonder what I was ever thinking moving back.

I think living here parallels quite nicely with a budding romantic relationship.  The inital exhilarating fall into love is very much like the tourist phase, when everything about that person amazes you and you hear yourself saying things like, “I just love the way she eats her broccoli.  It’s so cute.”

Fortunately, the amazement phase is a short one.  You’re still amazed by them but it’s more in deep appreciation than constant surprise.  As you settle into the relationship you find yourself getting so familiar with them that you function together seamlessly, able to anticipate each other’s feelings and actions.  In the same way that I automatically knew to leave a little early this morning because it was raining and the trains would probably be running slow.  

This city pisses me off to no end sometimes.  It’s chaotic and it has taken me hours to accomplish things that would only take 30 minutes if I just had a car or a Wal-Mart.  The crowds, the nasty summers, the constant assault on the senses.  But I choose to stay, because this city also has things and people I love and wonder if I can ever live without.  For every sweat-soaked wait for a train, there’s a gorgeous view and another park to play in.  And for every time someone you’re with infuriates you, there’s every time they make you feel alive.  And hey, she still looks cute when she eats her broccoli.

I guess the goal here is to keep things in perspective.  Something being broken-in isn’t the same as it being broken.  Be it relationships or residences. 

Happy Monday everyone.

– J

Caps Rock

April 20, 2010

When I first learned my letters I remember being fascinated with the capital/lowercase concept.  Two versions of the same letter to use at different times, one clearly more important than the other.  If something merited a capital letter then it was special.  I understood why you capitalized someone’s name, but didn’t quite get why the first word in each sentence was so important (I expressed this a few years ago in a bit more sarcastic approach).  And then I realized if you use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS in a sentence it was like shouting, but without speaking.  I was easily impressed back then.  Still am now that I think about it.

Then I got to thinking about numbers.  Numbers are just as important as letters, right?  How come numbers only get one size and shape?  How come the first number in a sequence doesn’t get any special treatment? 

So, at the age of sevenish, I set out to right this injustice by creating the first capital numbers.  As I recall, all I did was just press down really hard with my pencil.  Essentially, I discovered how to bold something before being exposed to Microsoft Word.  So for a while I wrote all my numbers really dark and really big because I didn’t want them to feel left out.

I’m not sure why all that popped in my head this morning, but it was fun going back and thinking about it.  Hope you enjoyed another little glimpse into my mind as a child.


Backlog Blog

April 19, 2010

I haven’t been updating much because either I have nothing to say or what’s on my mind hasn’t been fit for general consumption.  I’m emo mysterious like that.

Nothing has really changed, but what can I say?  I miss you guys.

Some highlights:

– I’m officially a New Yorker.  I got my NY driver’s license in the mail last week and it feels really weird.  Like I’m cheating on someone or something.  And as per the requirement of all major forms of  identification, my photo is horrendous.  I swear DMV employees are trained to count to three and take the pic on two. 

– And with the new license, I remembered how much I miss driving.  So I’ve decided to sign up for a Zipcar account.  I’m really excited and wish it hadn’t taken me so long.  To be honest, I’m also a little nervous.  Driving around the city is very intimidating to me.  I’m sure I’ll be fine though.  Last time I helped a friend move I parallel parked a U-Hall van on a narrow one-way street in Queens.  Prior to that, the only time I had attempted to parallel was during my driving test. 

– Next month I’m going to visit D.C. with some friends.  I went through D.C. years ago, but really it was just long enough to drive past a few monuments.  It will be nice to take our time and explore. 

So that’s a very little bit of what’s up.  I really want to start putting actual content up here.  Something of substance or value.  I’m also thinking about breaking my own little unspoken rule and getting *gasp* personal

– J

PS – Try saying that title 5 times fast.