Posts Tagged ‘television’

Fresh Prince of Dimension X

April 1, 2009

I learned a long time ago that the voices of Eeyore and Optimus Prime were done by the same guy.  For some reason that changed my life a little bit.  Two things from my childhood having so little to do with one another suddenly being connected was a weird revelation. 

This weekend it happened again.  Sunday night I discovered that the guy who played Uncle Phil on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is the same guy that did the voice for The Shredder on the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon.  Imagination fully in overdrive, I’m now picturing Shredder throwing D.J. Jazzy Jeff out of his mansion and a quirky black family inhabiting the Technodrome. 

You know what, guys?  I’m beginning to think there just might be something wrong with me…

– J

Version -2.0

September 25, 2008

Time for a good ol’ rant. 

The entertainment industry’s lack of creativity has created a time when people in their twenties can say, “You know, back in my day…” and have merit in doing so.

As I type this, I am watching the new Knight Rider.  Words fail me to express my aggravation and disgust at this worthless piece of television.  But you know me, I’ll try anyway…

1) At least the original Knight Rider TRIED to acknowledge the existence of basic physics.  I just watched two grown adults jump into the bed of truck which then morphed into a Mustang (NOT a Trans Am), placing the two people comfortably in the front seats.  Huh?

2) That Mustang was then hit by a heat seeking missile filled with a form of napalm.  Fortunately, KITT “diverted just enough energy to deflect the blast” but the napalm covered the car turning it into a ball of flame on wheels.

Folks, this was before the opening credits.  The continued 30 minutes I’ve watched has been sexual references, impossible G.P.S. technology and the worst acting I’ve seen since the school play in seventh grade.

Oh wait!!  Somebody just stuck their wounded hand in KITT’s blankityblankin’ glove compartment and received stitches and local anesthetic.  I wouldn’t have bought that when I was 8!!  And now they are marketing this garbage to (presumably educated) adults?!

Yes, Knight Rider in the 80’s was campy and unbelievable.  Turbo Boost was laughable and KITT could supposedly open locked doors in buildings from across the street by remote.  I guess my problem is that all these awful remakes seem to take themselves seriously while their originals didn’t try so hard.  The 18 wheeler with 4 people in it from the original has been replaced by a top secret compound with a hundred people and plenty of pointless spinning blue and red mood lights. 

Special effects does not make everything better.  Neither does gratuitous sex.  I wish these producers would leave my childhood memories alone and quit ripping everything off.  God forbid someone do some creative work and come up with something new.

Ninja Turtles, Terminator, Knight Rider, Care Bears, Dukes of Hazzard, Beverley Hillbillies, Transformers, and Halloween come to mind just off the top of my head.  I know for a fact they are in works to make a new Robocop, GIJoe, Green Hornet and more.  And if remaking something isn’t enough, then they just turn everything that makes a little money into an unplanned trilogy (Pirates of the Caribbean) or add more sequels to already completed stories (Indiana Jones) thus sacrificing story and quality of film for profits because they know people will go see things regardless of whether or not they suck. 

Enough is enough already.

And you kids stay off my lawn!! *shakes fist*

Agree?  Disagree?  More examples to share?  Vent away!!

– J


May 24, 2007

Rejoice with me Livejournal!!  Another season of American Idol has come and gone.  Now we just have to suffer through the next week of “review and highlight” footage.  After that, we’ll all be able to enjoy a nice break from the pop culture reality fodder being forced down our throats.  *phew*  Until next season of course…

Taking a Stand

February 6, 2007
I know that it’s usually a bad idea to blog about certain sensitive topics. But I’ve remained silent and divided far too long.  It’s my God given right as an American to protest the things I see in my country that I disagree with. I can speak my mind and stand up for what I believe in and it’s time I made my views public about this issue that has overshadowed our great nation for the past few years and cost so many people their lives. I may divide my friends and even my own family with this stance I’m taking. You may view me differently afterwards, but frankly, I don’t care. I have to be true to myself and honest with those around me: I hate American Idol.
There, I said it. I know it’s not the popular opinion considering where I come from, but it’s how I feel after much deliberation and soul searching. Simon Cowell is a tyrant and should be overthrown. We need more Americans to stand up to him. His abuse of power is unforgivable and he has no regard for the lives he has ruined. And his two accomplices are no better. We can all respect a female in her position, but we don’t have to respect her judgment. She tries to paint the world to be a better place than it really is. And Simon’s right-hand man hardly has the personality to go along with constantly being in the public eye. He’s bright enough for the job, but he lacks that approachable quality.
So join me, America. Stand up for what you believe and don’t give in to this waste of resources. Take back your evenings and face the reality in your lives and not the reality that Fox portrays. Everyone knows that Fox is biased and supports this ridiculous agenda that has split our nation to its core. Oh sure they have some redeeming qualities. Take their stance on medical issues (which they so conveniently air every Tuesday night immediately following Idol). But don’t let that affect your view of the overall picture. Fox supports this intrusion into other peoples lives and sees no problem with making other people think the same way they do. Remember, not everyone wanted to be forced to vote to see what will happen next in their lives. Some people believed in the programming that was already in control and saw no need for it to be forced out of power (and eventually murdered unjustly).
If we all work together, we can end this corruption at least by the year 2008. Maybe sooner if enough people speak out.
Thank you,