The following is another Lowercase J story. It’s a story of courage, youthful rebellion and raw, stubborn energy. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wonder how I ever learned to function in polite society*.
Here in a simple living room lying on the floor we see a young absorbent mind watching television. It’s an educational show of sorts and we’re learning how to dress ourselves.
“You should always put your pants on before putting on your shoes,” says the glowing box.
“Challenge accepted,” says the young absorbent mind.
A few minutes later the young absorbent mind is again on the floor, but in quite a different position. It’s a position of angst, determination and flailing pant legs. A more picturesque description might be that of a crab lying on its back trying to make the number 44 out of its legs and claws.
A pointed sneaker here, a shove there and an ever-so-subtle tearing sound and he’s managed to get a heel well and truly crammed into one leg. His ankle hurts a little but that’s probably just part of growing up and being unique. If he could get the other foot started then he’d no doubt be fully panted in no time. And most importantly he will have defied the glowing box that so casually assumed his conformity.
Unfortunately for our creative thinking hero, the second foot was quite a bit harder than the first. It was soon realized that when ones left leg is stuck at a 90 degree angle and both hands attached to a pant waist, getting the second leg started became… complicated.
After rolling around a while our hero tires, succumbs to physics and begins to put his pants on the boring ol’ way the rest of the boring ol’ world did.
He’s upset, but wait! What’s this?
SHORTS. He sees a pair of loose-fitting shorts.
With shoes still on he grabs the shorts and flings himself onto the bed. In one fluid movement both feet are through and the shorts hit his waist with a satisfying elastic snap. Both legs and not just that – he put them both in at the same time.
He leaps off the bed triumphantly. It wasn’t the original goal, but is still counted as a victory. Off he runs to play and to search for new rules to break.
*I didn’t. So I moved to NYC.